Parenting with Understanding: Key Information for Families Raising Children with Autism

June 10, 2024

Autism affects millions of children around the world, and even though they are certainly different from other children around them, and they can be challenging and even scary to raise, they are children like everyone else, and they are not mentally disabled or somehow inferior to the others; they are simply different. This means you will have to raise and treat them differently as well, give more attention, use other parenting methods, and go the extra mile. It is not easy, that is for sure, but with a little help, you will raise a child who will be able to go through the world without needing you by their side at every moment, who will be able to deal with issues and overcome obstacles on their own, and as parents, is that not the end goal for all our children? Of course, it is, and this article was written with that goal in mind, so you get some important tips that will help you raise your child.

Wait for a Diagnosis? No

When you have a child with autism or other similar developmental delays, you do not have to sit around and wait for a diagnosis; in fact, you shouldn’t, and instead, do the most essential and imperative thing, which is to start treatment early. Educate yourself on the basics using sources like the Autism Parenting Magazine, familiarize yourself, and start early intervention as early as when the child is 18 months old with something like Applied Behavior Analysis therapy. Look for help and research into autism and developmental milestones as soon as you suspect that something may be off, as it is vital here that you be as proactive as you can and look for solutions rather than just waiting for your little one to “outgrow” the issue. The sooner your little one gets intervention for autism, the better the developmental outcome will be, and once you have a diagnosis, you will be even better equipped to create a better life for the child, make effective treatment choices, and so on.

Acceptance

This cannot be overstated, but it is vital that you truly accept your child as they are, including neurodivergent behaviors. Understand that your child is special and, yes, has problems, but there is nothing inherently “missing” or “wrong” with them. Stop comparing or measuring your child to others and instead celebrate every success, no matter how small, and enjoy their quirks and individuality. Rest assured, your child will pick up on this unconditional love and acceptance and learn and grow all the more for it, the benefits of which both they and you will see. It is also vital that you never give up on them, as things may seem dire and hopeless one day, but they improve over time. Neither you nor anyone else can perfectly predict what your child will become or overcome or what behaviors might improve or instead last for a lifetime. It can be very difficult sometimes but try not to jump to conclusions about what your child’s life will be like or what they will go through and instead stay rooted in the here and now.

Safety and Structure

As previously mentioned, researching all you can about autism and getting as involved as possible in the treatment of your child will expand your awareness and make you more equipped to help them and “hold space.” What is that, you may ask. Well, holding space is just a phrase used to describe focusing, concentrating on someone, and supporting them in their emotions completely and without any judgment, and consistency is key here. Children dealing with autism sometimes have difficulty correctly applying what they have learned in treatment, like ABA therapy, to scenarios outside of the therapy, such as real life and routines, and transferring these skills will take a lot of practice and hard work. So, being consistent with your little one is vital to reinforce their learning. Closely observe your kid’s therapist, watch how they move and talk, and then adapt those techniques to your home life and day-to-day moments before trying to teach them in new, unfamiliar environments to encourage your child to practice their new skills everywhere and not just at home.

Routines

Children who have autism tend to be most comfortable and flourish when they have a highly structured routine and schedule, and again, we see here the pattern of consistency we want to cultivate to reinforce their sense of well-being. Have a plan for your kid with regular school activities, mealtimes, therapy, and getting ready for bedtime, and try to minimize any breaks in this routine. If you face a necessary, unavoidable schedule change, let your child know ahead of time and prepare them accordingly with an explanation, as they will feel almost ambushed and out of their depth when they don’t have the comfort of a structured routine.

Reward Good Behavior

Make sure you reward good behavior, as positive reinforcement can go a long way with an autistic child, so going out of your way to see them when they are properly engaged and rewarding will have a profound impact on them. Complimenting their work and praising them when they behave in a way that promotes their relaxation or learning. Simple little gestures like giving them a sticker, or allowing them extra time to play or do other favorite activities will make them feel more inclined to repeat that behavior. With a child who has autism, clear, open communication is vital, as they lack the sensitivity to read facial expressions or know when something is off with someone. This means you have to be open with what you feel, or when they do something right or wrong, or if they can improve something, and so on.

Raising a child with autism can be very challenging; there is no doubt about that, but if you research, get help from professionals, know what you are doing, and really put some effort in, there is no reason why your child should have a less happy or fulfilling life than any other child around them.

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